Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Double Upchuck


I have been following the release of the newest book by the highly acclaimed authors, Chuck Heath Sr. & Jr., for several weeks. You can apply the title of this story however you wish. Here are a few examples to get you started: (a) the two clowns pictured at left, (b) what the person who made this deal at the publisher has been doing with his time since the book's release, (c) what anyone who has scheduled a book signing for this bomb is doing about now, or (d) what you will feel like if you read even the Look Inside parts of Our Sarah at Amazon.

Our Sarah was first offered at Amazon in a pre-release mode several months ago. From April until yesterday, the official release date, the sales of Our Sarah dribbled. Twenty-five copies of the book were sold at Amazon on the 25th, its opening day. It is now the 26th and the last copy was sold from Amazon sixteen hours ago (and counting). The lowest Amazon ranking I have seen is 505. It might have been 585; I did not look closely enough to verify it. Currently the ranking is 1108. The total Amazon sales according to NovelRank is 104, including one at Amazon UK, the only copy sold outside the U.S. so far.

For contrast, let's look at another book released on the same day, September 25, and marketed to almost the exactly the same right-wing delusional readership. Ann Coulter's Mugged has sold 53 since late yesterday. I was not aware of the book until then so I do not have any tracking numbers throughout its pre-release period, however long that might have been. From watching the figures since yesterday evening, I can ascertain that the sales of Mugged were far beyond those of Our Sarah, as in out in the stratosfear! The NovelRank charts clearly show, for instance, that Ann's book has sold 28 copies since midnight while Chuckie & Chuckie's has bombed with a goose egg over the same time period. Mugged is currently ranked at #39, and I saw it as low as #25 yesterday.

As Bob Dylan once said, "Everybody must get mugged!" Whoever set up the publishing deal for Our Sarah must not have looked too closely at the sales charts of the many pro-Palin books as they have slid slowly down the drain. From the explosive boom of Going Rogue to the stumbling mumbles of Bristlebutt's pack of lies to Levi's ghostwritten nonsense, the downhill slide of the sales figures of each release has been inevitable. If I remember correctly, Going Rogue sold 2.3 million and Sarah's book signing at the Mall of America was a stupendous success. Two years later the signing of Not Afraid of Life and America by Heart by both Palin celebrities at the same venue was a bust with a couple hundred diehard fans showing up for signatures. Maybe someone should have kept her mouth shut after the Gabby Giffords shooting, you think?

Watching this dud slowly grind to a screeching halt has been a lot of fun. The dud is Our Sarah, the whole Palin phenomenon, and of course Sarah herself. I did read most of the Look Inside portions of Our Sarah, and it really is a dud. The font is large and the margins wide, so it is not a book with a high word count. Most of the words that are present are just one big baloney sandwich, anyway. A good example is Chuck Jr. complaining about the media questioning Sarah's college career. He spins the question off into something that it never was, as if we care that Sarah did not attend a fancy Ivy League school. Pass the baloney sandwich, please. Why did she return to the dipshit MatSu Valley college between two semesters at the University of Idaho? Just before that bit of horse puckey, he stated that she left the first Hawaii location because it rained too much. He claimed that she wanted to enjoy the sun and surf of Hawaii, and that's why she and her friends went there in the first place. But then he does a one-eighty and claims that she left the fun and sun for the snow of Idaho after only one semester. Does this make any sense to anyone?

Aside from this bit of balogna sandwich making, much of the book seems to suddenly and repeatedly veer off into an oblivion of anecdotes about various friends and family of the Palins. If you are a Palin fan at the depth of lunacy you might enjoy these little side trips, but I seriously doubt the mass appeal of such a book. Chuckie & Chuckie appeared on Fox & Friends early yesterday morning to promote this tale of nonsense, but it seems to have had minimal effect on the buying audience. I am waiting with bated breath to see what happens with the book tour planned for the next few weeks. My best guess is that the most likely sound we will hear from it is SPLAT!!   

12 comments:

Sally said...

You know, my mom doesn't know enough about my college years to write a sentence, let alone a short book chapter. Face it, Chuck, IF Sarah got a degree, she skipped every English class from 10th grade on. And her failure to nurture students in her own family is despicable. Track: GED. Bristol: GED. Willow..graduates 'early' at 18? Piper: spent 4th grade on the road with Mommy babysitting  Trig or Tripp or whomever was along.
Trig: needs extra attention and extra help to go along with those hearing aids and too big glasses he sometimes wears. And Todd said recently "Our youngest just said his first words." At four? And you see nothing starnge about that? I tell you, if another Palin wants to sell a book, how about one of you telling the truth about Trig and the assorted grandkids? Sarah said last night at DWTS that she had 'one in Alaska.' Really? Which one? And where is the other one?

mrsgunka said...

I'd rather spend time with my pet rock than waste time reading this book. Much more stimulating! 

Carol Smith said...

I would not be caught dead at a Palin book signing. How embarrassing!!!

Carol Smith said...

Palin's college career is questionable! Usually when a student shifts to so many schools it can mean suspension/academic difficulty or a poor fit.  She may have told her dad that it rained too much, but Chuck will never know what actually happened.

77TA66 said...

I agree, Carol. I have a difficult time buying much of the story of her college career. Generally the most likely causes of such behavior sometimes entail either pregnancy or academic probation. Her enrollment at the small Mat-Su school between university semesters seems particularly fishy. Her career attempts after graduation seemed to be minimal, too, as if her interest lasted only until she realized she would have to study and work hard to be a successful sportscaster. I'm sure she thought she could just sail to the top of the career ladder based on her looks.

As for whatever Chuckie knew of the truth, I am reminded of Laurie Foreman in That '70s Show. Laurie tried to keep her parents in the dark about various elements of her college experience, such as an affair with a professor and flunking out.

Lefsa123 said...

This book is nothing but a family of grifters trying to stay on the gravy train so that the money keeps rolling in.  Rather insulting when a brother and father write a book about how Sarah was the shining star in their family and everyone else was a nitwit.  Rather insulting when your kids can only graduate with a GED and then Sarah brags about it like it is a great accomplishment--ask any teacher, this is the equivalent of having an eighth grade education.  Sad when a parent is proud of her son because he is in the military rather than in jail.  Palins have set their bar so low that they are attractive to those who are looking for someone to lead their cult based on her shrill voice and crowd energizing ability.  Kind of like how Hitler could get support and encouragement from his blindly loyal followers.  Now these members of the cult are supposed to believe that Mama Grizzly has found a new way of dieting--taking pills and having plastic surgery and she is having a ghost writer write her book so they can all look like death warmed over like her.  After that, will come another book describing their life in rehab centers.

77TA66 said...

Yep, you summed it all up pretty well: grift, grift, and nothing but the grift.

KT said...

So it's fine for ignorant outsiders to stalk people and pen collections of tripe, exaggerated rumors and slander, yet it's not for the actual subjects who become victims of slander to pen their own stories, the only stories that matter, from the horse's mouth?

There isn't a human on earth who can legitimately and rationally dictate the events of someone's life, for the only person who knows his/her life is him/herself.

People need to grow up and stop the ignorant opining.

KT said...

I don't want to be caught dead in the same room with you. So could you start wearing a sign that says, "ignorant trash talker" so I know who to avoid?

KT said...

WTH are you talking about? Stop slandering people. You're literally fabricating strangers lives. These are people who 1. are down to earth 2. have normal jobs and lives 3. grew up in a strong family environment and know what matters 4. had their normal adolescent problems exacerbated and used in political  games. It's very sad that democrats have no arguments except to slander, personally attack and make shit up to push through agenda. Whydon't you actually listen to what your President says, think about why he says certain things, and make some decent judgments? I've never seen a man who 's more disrespectful to som many people like Obama is (what kind of person ridicules 80% of the country by telling them they didn't achieve their professional successes in business?

The real losers are the people who ignore Obama lies. The Palins are just normal people living their lives as everyone else is. Sarah will always e knows as the cool mom, her family will  always be down to earth because they were raised to know what matter: family and faith. Look how mature 4 yr old Tripp is. he was adorable singing in church over xmas like his mommy used to do. He is already a nurturer and good big brother, a real protector. THAT is what matters. Raising kids who are happy, hardworking and remember who matters most. Life is not for comparing life paths. When people do that, they start creating their personal hell.

Nic said...

KT fool go away and it shows and says alot that it's bothering the Palins given that they always troll websites writing or paying someone else to lie for them.

Nic said...

Troll alert